Dear Feminist Movement,
When you discuss male privilege, stop saying “men are overwhelmingly less likely to be raped,” “men don’t have to deal with disbelief of their rapes” or, God forbid, “men can’t be raped.”
The largest study of the number of men who have been raped is the National Violence Against Women Survey, which you may recognize as the source of the “1 in 33 men have been raped” number. Unfortunately, the National Violence Against Women Survey asked people if they had ever been penetrated with their consent, but did not ask people if they had ever been enveloped without their consent. That’s right: according to NVAWS, a cis woman cannot rape a man with her vagina.
An erection is not consent, any more than lubrication is consent. Saying yes is consent. NVAWS is, as far as we know, massively undercounting the number of male rape survivors.
Given the methodological problems with other estimates of how many men have been raped (they generally have small samples of college students), we essentially do not know how many men have been raped.
And that’s where the whole “people don’t disbelieve men!” thing comes in. In most people’s minds, there is a Real Rape– a virtuous, straight, white cis woman, not dressed like a slut, who had a stranger jump out of the bushes at her and rape her, while she fought him off and sustained injuries. Everyone opposes that kind of rape. However, it is somehow Less a Real Rape, somehow Kind Of The Survivor’s Fault, if the survivor was promiscuous, or queer, or Hispanic or black, or a sex worker, or trans. Or if the survivor wore skimpy clothing, or got drunk, or flirted with the rapist, or was too frozen with fear to respond, or was threatened into submission, or dissociated in denial. Or if the rapist was the survivor’s girlfriend, or boyfriend, or spouse, or fuckbuddy, or pickup at a club, or friend.
Or if the survivor was male.
So when you put down “rape” on your list of disadvantages of being female, you are supporting rape culture.
P.S. Commentariat, you are allowed to criticize feminists on this thread. Run wild.