Got any spare faith in humanity lying around? (Warning: Link goes to the Faily Heil, which nevertheless seems to have pretty good coverage.)
Pat Lynch, football coach at Buffalo High School, Wyoming, gave his players a “Hurt Feelings Report” to use to report bullying. Sounds really progressive and awesome, right? Not… so much.
The report allows students to check off reasons for their hurt feelings, including “I am a pussy,” “I have woman-like hormones,” “I am a little bitch,” “I am a queer,” “I am a cry baby” and “I want my mommy.” It requests the name of the “Real Man” who hurt you and calls the person filing the report a “little sissy” and “girly-man.” It offers services for bullied people such as “a mommy who can give you a hug and make it all better,” “diapers,” “Midol” and a “blanky.”
So by my count that’s… femmephobia, homophobia, gender-policing, mockery of men for having emotions and equation of femininity/having feelings/being weak (since these are all, clearly, the same thing) with childishness?
This is particularly hilarious since, clearly, no teenage boys have ever committed suicide because they were bullied for being effeminate, weak, sensitive, queer or thought to be queer. That’s utterly ludicrous! That didn’t happen, like, last month or anything. Or the month before that.
You will be particularly gladdened to know that bullying absolutely never has long-term mental health consequences like depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, learned helplessness, anger issues or low self-esteem. Those people were just insufficiently manly. If only they had the roundhouse kick of Chuck Norris, they wouldn’t be having all these problems.
You will also be glad to see the wisdom of the commenters, including such intelligent posts as:
Give this man a raise….we are raising a group of tulips here in America that want their “feelings” never hurt in any way…what a bunch of candy-a$$ kids….
Everybody’s lost their sense of humor. If you can’t laugh at life, what can you laugh at? Someone gave me this form at work years ago and I thought it was hilarious.
Jokes are no longer allowed as they always offend someone.
The latter two comments have apparently forgotten the cardinal rule of humor “kick up, not down.” For instance, making fun of the President, a CEO, the Pope, etc. is fine, because they have power; making fun of Internet misogynists, Nazis, etc. is also fine, because they are assholes. However, if you make fun of, say, a bloody and beaten puppy curled up by the side of the road, or a victim of bullying, you are an asshole.
Fortunately, most of the comment section was voicing opinions like “he should be fired,” which gives me some faith for humanity.
This faith in humanity, of course, was immediately removed. You see, Lynch lost his job as a head football coach, but will be keeping his employment…
…as a guidance counselor.
Lolsob.
aliarasthedaydreamer
Ami Angelwings
Hershele Ostropoler
Cheradenine
jlandrith
kaija24
2020
noahbrand
Cliff Pervocracy
ozymandias
Shora
sirgabe
figleaf
John Hawkins
No, Seriously, What About Teh Menz? 
It really is a tiny little internet… I am from Buffalo [current population, ~3900]. My father told me about this last week. Although I do not remember, my father says Coach Lynch made some snide comments about/to me when I was little [and visibly non-gender conforming], and we both shared our dismay that he was being kept on as a counselor. =/
and people really don’t think that misogyny exists? Because from where I’m standing that is misogyny of the worst kind. Not only does it completely erase the emotions of bully victims but it does so in a way that once again paints women, trans men, and effeminate men as less than, as something bad, as something to be ashamed of, as something to be mocked. I feel sorry for the kids who have to deal with this asshat. What school district does he work for because they’re about to get a lovely letter.
Keeping him as a guidance counsellor seems even worse than having him as a football coach. But on a brighter note, the comments which support him are heavily down-voted, while the ones condemning it are both more numerous and more positively rated.
@AB The quote ranking struck me as odd, particularly being on the DailyFail normally the readers there would be right behind him and his “unfair treatment at the hands of the gay agenda” or some-such nonsense
Does anyone know how old or young the notion is that being bullied makes children stronger? I used to believe it too, but now it seems fantastically absurd.
Add mild dissociation here. Basically, a part of me has much of my feelings, and another is very stoic. They are mostly merged (no black outs, shared memory), yet the younger persona is mostly not out unless I feel very safe. The mildest social anxiety I feel, potentially threatened, alone in public (by itself), and she won’t be there. She also represents my child side and my feminine side. My stoic persona is more or less androgynous.
This was largely caused by psychological bullying over a decade, the physical bullying mostly instilling fear and distrust, as opposed to real physical damage.
As AB said the comments and votes pretty much show that this coaches actions are not tolerated. I am wondering why he’s still a guidance counselor though. Granted my GC didn’t do anything regarding guidance other than about college…maybe this guy is good at doing that. Anyway…
What I found interesting was on that DailyOnline site, on the right side of the page, there is something called “FEMAIL” … I find that whole sidebar to be rather irritating in it’s gender norm enforcement.
debaser71: That’s nothing, actually look at some of the articles there, I’ve lost count of the number I’ve seen on that site about how women were so much happier in the 50’s when the only responsibilities they had were to make sure their husbands dinner was on the table for his arrival home.
In case there was any question where misogynists come from…
I saw this on Jezebel last week and while I agree, to a certain point, that shielding kids from any tiny display of childhood aggression does them no favours (imho, bullying is more systematic than simple aggression) this clearly falls into the category of un-fucking-acceptable behaviour of someone in a position of power and trust.
Kids ARE going to face aggression and bullying and what they will need is a trusted authority figure.. not someone who is going to invalidate them and further torment them. This guy should NOT be teaching, or counselling.. or around people, period.
Schala: I hear you. I try not to exhibit any feelings that are on the ‘weaker side’ of the emotional spectrum. So, anxiety, fear and sadness just get stuffed down. I don’t even smile when I’m out and about. In my case, it was kind of a full scale rebellion against girlhood. Girls were slim, weak, and emotional, so I did my damndest not to be a girl.
I wasn’t a boy, and I did my damndest for people not to perceive me as “wanting to be a girl” (even rather innocuous things like saying I take showers, not baths, in my teens).
But I became stoic and unemotional through being punished (and not comforted, helped etc) for being emotional. If being emotional only made me more hurt and more the target of violence, I had to not be emotional, beat it out of me myself.
I was slim and weak, seems to be genetic, not tied to femaleness here (I wonder how much is tied to sheer luck and how much is tied to my being trans and probably intersex – but certainly, much of it is genetics, my brothers in their teens were not muscle mountains, nor fat). I hid that with oversized (read: any adult “unisex” t-shirt) t-shirts, mostly because I was self-conscious about a chest birth defect (pectus excavatum). It eventually served to hide my being skinny (they’re so formless, and large). It worked with my own parents even into my 20s.
A guidance counselor? WHY?!
Unless things have changed since I was at school (I’m 27 now), UK schools don’t have councellors in the same way as they do in the US, and guidence councellors are just there to give advice about further education, careeres, etc (sometimes the title “vocational guidence coucillor” is used). Which is very good news in this scenario.
@trinity91: This strikes me as a classic example of Ozy’s Law, in that the attitudes involved are so clearly harmful to boys and to girls, and both those forms of harm are so inextricably tied up. Thus, in this case, misogynist attitudes produce misandrist results.
So this story basically made my head explode, but less so since I learned “guidance councilor” means something different in the UK than the US. It is still horrific even then however.
@chrislittlesun and Vejus –
Although the link is in the Daily Mail, Buffalo is in Wyoming, in the United States. Also, Buffalo High School is the only high school in the county [and a small high school at that – Buffalo has 3900 people], so there’s probably not a lot of latitude to avoid him.
Hrm. You’re right. Apparently, my brain didn’t register “Wyoming”. Consider my head re-exploded fully. I can’t believe this ass is still being allowed to work with kids.
So, since he gave this to football players only that means that he won’t inflict this on the kids under his guidance? Where’s the common sense?
I would make my own version of the form with the following:
Reasons for being upset:
– I was frequently insulted.
– I was treated as if it were somehow weak or wrong for a man to have emotions.
– The words used to insult me were feminine in nature, thus implicitly insulting my mother, my sisters, my grandmothers, my aunts, and all other women that I know and love.
Name of the disgusting bigot that insulted you:
Pat Lynch
🙂
Firing him could have embroiled the school in a lengthy and expensive lawsuit.
I’m guessing (but information is sparse on this matter) his resignation as coach but retainment as counselor was the result of an agreement between him, a union representative, and the school board.
@Orphan: public sector unions never close ranks around the incompetent asshats in their membership.
I mean, I fully expect that the cops beating Occupy protesters will be harshly punished by their union.
noah:
@trinity91: This strikes me as a classic example of Ozy’s Law, in that the attitudes involved are so clearly harmful to boys and to girls, and both those forms of harm are so inextricably tied up. Thus, in this case, misogynist attitudes produce misandrist results.
Sorry to nitpick but this seems to be a matter of a misandrist attitude leading to the deployment of misogynistic weapons thus resulting in misandrist and misogynistic fallout.
@Danny: Yeah, you could read it that way too. I mean, clearly femaleness is being presented as undesirable and disgusting, in a way designed to hurt boys, so there is a bit of a chicken-and-egg problem as to which is the root issue.
Schala: Sorry if I accidentally insulted you- didn’t mean to. I’m not trans myself- just not really invested in womanhood/girlhood. The whole ‘women have to exhibit emotions’ schtick bugs the hell out of me, and I’ve been dealing with out of control emotions my whole life, so I prefer not to have to deal with them at all.
@noah, you’re absolutely right there. As if we needed another reason to oppose this kind of misogynistic crap. Honestly though, can we get a contact for that school district? I’d like to write and call and flat out ask why my federal tax dollars are being used to fund this guys salary.
I’m in grad school right now to become a school counselor, and when I brought this case up in class, jaws dropped. The first class we took was on the ethics of counseling, including guidelines set by the American School Counselors’ Association (ASCA), which include lots of things about supporting all kids and their emotional health, respecting different types of people, creating a safe school environment, yadda yadda. The sad thing is that different states have different licensing requirements, meaning that not all counselors are required to be trained and/or certified in counseling or in child development. Or, clearly, in being decent human beings.
I’m not sure where this “Hurt Feelings Report” bullshit first came from, but this article is where I first heard of it: http://www.salon.com/2009/02/09/coming_home_one/
Being used to mock soldiers who sought help for PTSD symptoms. TW for suicide on that link.
There really are no words.
He’s not a guidance counselor AND a football coach. He’s The Football Coach, but… high schools don’t have that position in their TO&E (unlike colleges), so they have to find someplace to put him. Since his “degree” is undoubtedly in PhysEd, and the Basketball Coach already has the one Boy’s Physical Education slot, they stuck him in a position which really doesn’t have any classroom time requirements to interfere with his “real” job.