Rebecca Katherine Hirsch, guest-blogging at Feministe, has a really awesome post on the hotness of gender-non-conformity. Quotes and commentary and stuff below the cut.
But first! Masculinity as defined by our lovably open-minded, calmly acceptive, live-and-let-live culture is one of—oh wait, let me rephrase: Masculinity as defined by our anal-retentive patriarchy is one of EXTREME STOLIDITY and INTENSE NOTHINGNESS, big braggadocio and mind-numbing manipulativeness born of fear of emotions we demote to “women’s roles.” I do not appreciate these male stereotypes any more than I appreciate the female stereotypical mandates to be passive, sexy-not-sexual, stupid and performatory…
The erotic appeal of interdependent individuality is great! The appeal of stretching the extremely limited norms outside of the gender binary is great. As is the ethicality and empathy to coexist with fellow peoples trying to navigate the world in their own way. In trying to hone in on what exactly elicits such enjoyment in the idea of non-gender-conforming men, I’ve decided that (intellectually) I think it must be the bravery and vulnerability, which as far as I’m concerned operate simultaneously and cross-influence the other.
The comments got into a very interesting discussion on fetishization. I am particularly fond of Jadey’s comment, which nicely delineates the difference between attraction and fetishization/objectification:
have a huuuuuuuuuuge gender-play kink (+1 to Thomas’s comment about “fetish”), but a major lesson for me over the last few years was not to confuse my kink with someone else’s life or identity. This is extra super-duper important when it comes to fetishizing trans* people (like a certain Erika Moen cartoon that I won’t even link because it still enrages me that much) and queer people, because of all the shit they are already putting up with. Do I get goosebumps seeing a dude (not necessarily a cis dude) happily wearing a skirt? Oh my yes. Does that picture I found once of Meryl Streep in a ‘man’s’ suit (and cannot seem for the life of me to track down again, damn!) set my heart a-racing? And how! (And that’s just drag – non-clothing non-conformity does it for me too.) But that can’t turn into, “Hey you there, person with a politicized and marginalized experience of gender, I have decided that you are erotic because of how I choose to define your gender and/or sex. Wanna hook up?” It puts me in mind of this post, A Message to my Fellow Fat Admirers. Attraction? Fine. Mutual attraction? AWESOME. Dehumanizing and demeaning objectification and fetishizing? HELL NO.And you’d hope that it would be easier to tell those things apart, but yeah… Being attracted to a person who is often socially derided as being fundamentally unattractive based on fucked-up social norms is not a bad thing in and of itself, but A) it’s not a political action that the attractee should be eternally grateful for because you deigned to get a boner (literal or metaphorical) for them and B) it doesn’t mean that you get to decide how they ought to define themselves or see themselves just because you’re attracted to who you perceive them to be.
Which is not to say that this an extreme to which the OP has gone, just that it’s the minefield that this kind of thing exists in.
Also, the OP links to a picture of this muscular dude drinking a Jager while in a tutu and a tiara. I want to do so many nasty things to that guy. You don’t even know. Come home with me, sexy gender-non-conforming person! You can leave your tiara on.