Tag Archives: boundaries

Good Consent Part Two

Trigger warning for discussion of rape, abuse and boundary violations. Knowing Your Boundaries This is the most important rule of boundaries: it is okay to set whatever boundaries you want. IT IS OKAY TO SET WHATEVER BOUNDARIES YOU WANT. Our … Continue reading

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On Good Consent, Part One

Personally, I use “good consent” rather than “enthusiastic consent.” Enthusiastic consent is a problematic term. Lots of people consent to sex without enthusiasm for the sex itself: sex workers, people who enjoy pleasing their partners even when they don’t desire … Continue reading

Posted in noseriouslywhatabouttehmenz, rape, sexuality | Tagged , , , , , | 145 Comments


Once again, I’m pondering the definition of “creep” and the creation of a Reasonable Person Standard… (Obvious Disclaimer, again: if you ever feel creeped out by a situation, the first thing to do is to get out of the creepy … Continue reading

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The Right to Say No

Feministe has been posting recently about men who don’t like particular sex acts, namely, period sex and cunnilingus. Everyone has the right to say no. This includes men. For what it was worth, I think Jill did make a gesture towards there … Continue reading

Posted in blog responses, noseriouslywhatabouttehmenz, rape culture | Tagged , , , , , , , | 200 Comments

Strictly Moderated: What I Mean When I Talk About Rape Culture, Part Two

Toxic Masculinity Thomas at Yes Means Yes quotes from a paper by Lisak, the groundbreaking rape researcher, about the characteristics of male rapists (unfortunately, I am unaware of similar studies about female rapists): “more angry at women, more motivated by the need to … Continue reading

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