It is true that men are too often assumed unattractive in our culture. Men are supposed to be the subjects, not the objects, the pursuers, not the pursued, the desirers, not the desired. This ties in with the gatekeeper model of sexuality, with Figleaf’s Two Rules of Desire, with Ozy’s Myth of Men Not Being Hot. And it’s total bullshit.
Thing is, even in a sexist and repressive culture, you get some dissenting voices. Thus, we’ve assembled some of our favorite songs by (mostly) female singers talking about how hot, sexy, and generally fuckable men are. Not “He’s sweet and kind and caring” but “Goddamn, I wanna bang him like a screen door in a high wind.” This is the Myth Of Men Not Being Hot Party Mix. (Bandwidth warning: hella embedded videos after the cut.)
Trigger warning: Some of these songs and videos are kind of objectifying or creepy in their attitudes. Assume it will be about as upsetting for male listeners as your local classic rock station is for female listeners, and plan accordingly.
Lady Gaga likes boys!
Julie Brown has a type!
Salt-N-Pepa are unashamed of their sexuality!
(Best part of that one is on the line “Brother, wanna thank your mother for a butt like that!” you can hear “Thanks, mom!” in the background. Good manners are sexy!)
Nicki Minaj is here to do two things: Chase hot guys and wear awesome wigs. And she’s all outta wigs. (Okay, no she’s not.)
Some would argue that Heart’s “Magic Man” is not about sex. I assume those people haven’t actually listened to it.
Betty Blowtorch is not subtle!
I have always had a soft spot for Abba, nice to hear they may have a soft spot for me too.
If you don’t like the Donnas, you just hate rock n’ roll.
This mix would be incomplete without the classic, of course.
And lest we forget that it’s not only women who find guys hot…
Share some of your favorites in comments!
aliarasthedaydreamer
Ami Angelwings
Hershele Ostropoler
Cheradenine
jlandrith
kaija24
2020
noahbrand
Cliff Pervocracy
ozymandias
Shora
sirgabe
figleaf
John Hawkins
No, Seriously, What About Teh Menz? 
Annnnd of course only three of those aren’t restricted from embedding. Fucking IP lawyers. Click through as necessary; sorry about that.
One thing I’ve wondered about in music about people the performer thinks are hot and want to hit it like its Quidditch (sp?) is whether or not the performer in question really thinks that stuff or are they doing it for the ratings. At one point in history Sir Mix-A-Lot was breaking the mold a bit with his preference in women but now that kind of preference is the mold.
(And then of course there is the matter of how it seems like a lot of the time the only types that get talked about in songs as being bangalicious are the types of people that fit the societial norms of the day.)
Yeah, no lie, objectification and body-norm enforcement are serious issues. On the other hand, equal time for men and women on those issues, in a world where both men and women are seen as equally desirable, would actually be progress from where we’re at now.
(Which is not to say that I object to Nicki Minaj’s butt in that swimsuit… good lord, I’m only human.)
This *is* about as painful as my local rock station, and I’m a dude. TL/DR: I like Shoop, but that’s about it. *Shakes fist at subaverage music* 😉
I still have a HUUUUUUUGE problem looking myself in the mirror and wondering how on earth I turn my gf on *especially* considering her aversion to penis.
Oh also I love Lady Gaga 😀 Seriously, try getting drunk out of your mind and blaring her through headphones.
It’s obscure, but beautiful — Alison Moyet’s Ode to Boy always really spoke to me as a heterosexual woman:
When he drives I love to watch his hands,
white and smooth, almost feminine, almost … American,
I have to watch him.
I love it every time I see another sign I’m not the only woman with a thing for hands.
A classic: Anyone Here for Love?
Showing my Southern roots but Black Velvet!: http://www.lyrics007.com/Alannah%20Myles%20Lyrics/Black%20Velvet%20Lyrics.html
(How does one embed links? )
@Orange: Regular HTML coding works in comments, at least for me.
@Rae: I do believe that’s what they call a beefcake buffet.
@Gemma: Damn, nice find. And no, you are far, far, far from the only woman with a thing for hands, at least based on the ones I know.
It occurs to me that I would be remiss not to post this abbreviated remix:
It’s Raining 300 Men
“Shoop” is in fact basically the greatest ever song about female desire.
Aaliyah is also pretty clear on what she wants and how: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x16nh6_aaliyah-rock-the-boat_music
And I too really like nice hands.
Why are there no songs where these *two* lines are sung (and, you know, about the *same* man)? Of course, now I have to think about songs about male sexual desire focused on a nice, sweet girl …
Why are there no songs where these *two* lines are sung (and, you know, about the *same* man)?
Once again, Salt-N-Pepa have you covered. 🙂
Basically Salt-N-Pepa 4eva.
Also this might not be AS sexy as “Whatta Man” but I have listened to it on repeat while crushing hard on a couple of guys over the years: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ByhiLftL1bE&feature=related
The first song that came to mind when I saw the theme of this thread was “Push It” as performed by Jessie and the Toy Boys.
Their performance on Conan I think is spot on. I’m not normally one for modern pop music but WOW. The backup dancers are especially entertaining to watch. They also give a hint as to the decidedly sexual nature of the song – if the lyrics weren’t enough. I myself find that the ideas/attitudes are somewhat comforting in their overt carnal nature. It is nice to have such a visceral reminder that a vigorous sex drive is more a part of the “human condition” than it is the “male condition.”
Performance on Conan’s Show: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5H21VbpHrs
Link to Lyrics: http://www.everthusthedeadbeats.com/music-lyrics/jessie-the-toyboys-push-it-lyrics.html
“Show Me Your Tan Lines”: great album title, or greatest album title?
Also pls to be sending hipster nerdboy backup dancers over this way?
And how have we got this far without some of Peaches’ over-the-top cock worship: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPM3V-qfUCo&feature=related
Also I tragically can’t find a video, but I promise you there is a song out there entitled “Don’t Rock the Boat (Just the Little Man in It)”.
Shit, that “Push It” video reminds me, how the hell did I forget I Touch Myself?
Also, I’ll see those nerdy boys with some nerdy girls: Fuck Me, Ray Bradbury
(Yes, this is my Friday night. Or now, early Saturday morning. I need to get out more…)
or Cargo’s Porn star…..but i dont know if that fall in the category.
Not like I hear this kind of music everyday *looking around*….
I recently found this album again. Seems on topic:
“Romeo” by Dolly Parton.
It is true that men are too often assumed unattractive in our culture.
Really??? I didn’t know men were supposed to be unattractive to women until I read American ‘manosphere’ blogs.
Trigger warning: Some of these songs and videos are kind of objectifying or creepy in their attitudes. Assume it will be about as upsetting for male listeners as your local classic rock station is for female listeners, and plan accordingly.
Get over yourself. There is nothing ‘upsetting’ or ‘creepy’ about men being thought of in a sexual way. Besides, plenty of DJ’s on the classic rock station or girls, and they’re not upset at all, and neither are the female listeners who phone in.
Although you have to actually pay attention to the lyrics Lady Miss Kier is singing rather than the dance beats:
http://www.lyricsondemand.com/onehitwonders/grooveisintheheartlyrics.html
I think that Deee-Lite’s “Groove is in the Heart” might also qualify.
Amanda Blank “Might Like You Better”
Morningwood – Take off your clothes
Not specifically about dudes, but the gender reversal in the typical roles is nice.
@luke123: Just because you don’t see or know something doesn’t mean other people don’t. The great thing about the gender-analysis tools feminism has developed is that they work both ways, and can help uncover the unspoken attitudes and unwritten rules that oppress men as well as women. The explicit rape reference in “Shut Up And Fuck” is disturbing, and many of the other songs either reduce men to their bodies or express some very limiting concepts of body image. Doesn’t mean they aren’t fun songs, but some awareness of the issues involved is worthwhile.
Short version: We know what we’re talking about here, and you’re being a killjoy at a rather fun dance party. 🙂
@Luke, to add: the concern of “men not being attractive” is extraordinarily well documented. So… yeah.
I like to think in “Shut Up And Fuck” that he’s screaming “no” after negotiation and the establishment of a safeword. It makes me feel better about cranking it up and singing along. 🙂
I love Hands. Shoulders. Legs. Butts. Balls. Dicks. Hip bones. Clavicles.
I love that little dip that forms right about the ass the smallest part of the back.
I love stomachs. Stomachs that pooch and ridiculously rock hard abs. I love the skinny guy that always got picked last for dodge ball. If it works for you and you own it, generally its awesome.
I love hair. I’m even coming round to the dreaded back hair.
I love the raw smell of earth and sweat on a man.
And I have had the Shut up and Fuck moment…I’ve had a shut up and fuckbuddy…
If I’m not attracted to some one… I don’t want to fuck them.
fuck yeah, SnP 😀
my additions: “sex is not the enemy” by garbage, “4ever” by the veronicas, “the boys are too refined” by the hush sound, and of course “you’re making me high” by toni braxton :9
oh, and “waves and the both of us” by charlotte sometimes! (sweetest sexy song)
…WHY DID THAT NOT EMBED RIGHT 😡
@luke123 – just here to hate? Find yourself another dance party!
Awesome post!
And (most of the) comments!
But it’s kinda double-edged sword, gave me yet another reason to contemplate what really is wrong with me.
In the musical, it’s white women and men singing about black guys, and black women and men singing about white guys. You can comment it racially or such (but it comes from the ’70s!), but as men-wanting songs goes, this is still my personal favourite.
Hair: Black boys, white boys
Black boys are delicious
Chocolate flavored love
Licorice lips like candy
Keep my cocoa handy
I have such a sweet tooth
When it comes to love
Once I tried a diet
Of quiet, rest, no sweets
But I went nearly crazy
And I went clearly crazy
Because I really craved for
My chocolate flavored treats
Black boys are nutritious
Black boys fill me up
Black boys are so damn yummy
They satisfy my tummy
I have such a sweet tooth
When it comes to love
Black black black black
black black black black
Black boys
White boys are so pretty
Skin as smooth as milk
White boys are so pretty
Hair like Chinese silk
White boys give me goose bumps
White boys give me chills
When they touch my shoulder
That’s the touch that kills
Well, my momma calls ’em lilies
I call ’em Piccadillies
My daddy warns me stay away
I say come on out and play
White boys are so groovy
White boys are so tough
Every time that they’re near me
I just can’t get enough
White boys are so pretty
White boys are so sweet
White boys drive me crazy
Drive me indiscreet
White boys are so sexy
Legs so long and lean
Love those sprayed-on trousers
Love the love machine
My brother calls ’em rubble
That’s my kind of trouble
My daddy warns me “no no no”
But I say “White boys go go go”
White boys are so lovely
Beautiful as girls
I love to run my fingers
And toes through all their curls
Give me a tall
A lean
A sexy
A sweet
A pretty
A juicy
White boy
Black boys!
White boys!
Black boys!
White boys!
Fucking awesome post, Noah. I think every man who is getting ready to go out on a date or out to a bar or club should run down this playlist.
It’s really fucking important for men to feel sexy – I think it’s the biggest psychological damage we (as a society) do to young men.
Well I can’t help but think one thing, why is it that objectifying men in music is acceptable, but when we do it to women, its degrading? Granted its nice to know women are attracted to men, but why the double standard? Almost every song that portrays a woman as an object of lust and desire is usually met with some resistance by mainstream elitists as being sexist, yet songs about men being portrayed in the exact same manner are permissible? Perhaps this article could make some mention about the inherent double standard and how even women who are not feminists are showing signs of indoctrination by ignoring the fact that there are those who fight women’s objectification, while they relish in the objectification of men. Basically a feminist will fight to oppose female objectification, while a non-feminist will let her, and then be overjoyed when the roles have been reversed in full support of the feminists end-game goal, the whole time pretending they weren’t a feminist in the first place, despite the fact that now they can enjoy the fruits of feminists labor.
@Rickster: I am impressed. That is a lot of points to miss all at once. Going through your post sentence by sentence, my comments would have to be: 1. You missed the point of the trigger warning. 2. There isn’t one. 3. First clause is factually wrong, second one is deeply confused. 4. I don’t think your proposed “those” exist, certainly not in the context of this post. 5. That is a breathtakingly wrong analysis. To be any wronger it would have to involve ancient aliens and/or homeopathy.
But, y’know, other than that, good try.
Noahbrand, I’ve tried to take the discussion to a deeper more fundamental level of gender scrutiny in our culture, and you have systematically gone back to turning it all into something rather casual, and done so in a manner that makes me question whether or not you’ve ever visited the planet earth.
The trigger warning while a warning seems to indicate that while offensive to men, it’s okay given the fact that men should just be happy they are Hot Party Mix. Second there is a double standard. Third, yes there are always people opposed to songs objectifying women, but fortunately many of them get drowned out by popular choice, and yet songs that berate men often make it to the top 100 list or receive some kind of music award without so much as an objection, making your observations of me being wrong or confused a little arbitrary; fourth my proposed “those” refers to people who may not be radicals but are part of the same collective, you know the ones why disavow radicalism but then allow its very existence to continue unhindered; and lastly of course by saying my analysis is wrong and then comparing it to theories that are gaining momentum with credible researchers, historians, doctors and analysts in general, wraps your argument up by indicating that while you think I’m wrong, it turns out that my ideas while now merely controversial will soon likely become affirmed as factual among the academic community, making me look like the clandestine intellect all along and you the ignoramus for your close-minded thinking.
Now I’m pretty sure this site is about men’s issues, is it not? Therefore bringing up gender politics in every discussion as it relates to men, I think would be acceptable. The point of my post was to stir things up about sexuality in music and how it should be okay to view men and women as being sexual because that is how we were designed to view one another by Mother Nature or God, whichever you believe, and not just blatantly objectify one or the other. However, I see instead a bunch of people who are happy to be objectified and think that said objectification is a victory for men’s rights, despite the fact that it strips us of our very humanity by reducing us to objects of mere pleasure the same way Hillary Clinton did when she flat out said women were the primary sufferers of war, and that men dying, getting mutilated, or traumatized from battle, was secondary to these poor unfortunate women who would have the agony of having to go out and find another man to protect and provide for them.
While I do think looking at one another as sexual beings is permissible, I would contend that we still bridle our passions and do so in an appropriate manner. For example, having a woman around the work place because she is eye candy, or because her supervisor is holding out for the day she propositions him with a couple of nights of wild sex at some sleazy motels for a promotion, would be an example of taking the whole “looking at one another as sexual beings” too far. Likewise, attributing the decent man to having tight buns and sexy strong hands, undermines our appreciation for him as a father, and makes the women seem shallow to boot.
I guess the point of this post however wasn’t to talk about the issues, rather just to enjoy the fact that men are being noticed in the media as sexy and desirable without restraint, and that we should just be happy for the attention, you know the same way a small child should be happy about his affair with the hot mature school teacher simply because he got some.